Silent Retreat

Personal Retreat on Reflections

It was a fruitful and spiritually enriching for me, completing my seven days personal retreat in Chiang Mai. I would love to share a few reflections i get (make) from this retreat at the Seven Fountains Jesuit Retreat Centre, Chiang Mai, Thailand from 27th April until 3rd May 2017. I will write it in a point form because this really speaks to my heart and hope it will speaks to those who read this post too.

  • To make peace with myself which means to make peace with my heart, my mind, my body and my soul.
  • To take things slow and steady by not pushing myself but to be patient with myself in the process.
  • To understand the meaning of my baptism and the works (JD – Job Description) that comes with it. Remember Jesus Christ was baptized by John the Baptist and what Jesus did after his baptism? He do what his Father in Heaven asked him to do. Now, Jesus is no more in this world, he is seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven until his second coming to judge the living and the dead. Thus, it is my duty to continue what Jesus do, to spread the Good News to the people.
  • To dig deeper through the Word of God how much God loves me. Reflects on the gaze Jesus gave to Peter after he denies Jesus the third time which makes Peter wept bitterly. It is the gaze of love and mercy not a condemnation (Luke 22: 61-62)
  • Faith is not freely come to me unless i earn it through my actions which includes prayerful life, read and meditate on the Word of God, received Holy Eucharist, visit the Blessed Sacrament and spend time with God, read spiritual books, reach out to the poor and needy, serve the Church. Of course it will takes courage and patience because throughout the process, the temptations, discouragements, negative thoughts, darkness, loneliness, disappointments, etc will attacks and bring me down to the lowest ground. Thus, i must always remind myself that God is my rock, my stronghold, my strength so i must never despair. Remember St John the Baptist, the greatest saint also experienced darkness (Matthew 11; 3). Jesus will give me peace and consolation.
  • To believe in Jesus and never doubt him. He is the living God and he is truly lives in me when i received him in Holy Communion. I am like Philip, asking if it is truly him. Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work (John 14: 9-10).
  • To embrace and living the moments with full knowledge that God is at work, that God is walking with me, within me. By his graces and blessings he will continue to guide and take me on this life journey one step at a time – even if it is a baby steps – without rushing and pushing me to break me, but to make me strong and shine. He will tell me when is the right time to take another step forward and when to pause or step back. He knows everything about me.
  • Fake repentance is not a game to play with God. When i confess my sins – even how shameful and bad it is – to the Priest, all my sins are forgiven and washed by the Precious Blood of Jesus who dies on the cross. Remember that no sins is greater than Jesus so go for a confession and ask for his forgiveness, do it sincerely from my heart, repent and not to sin again. Often times Jesus said in the scriptures after he heals the sick people, “Go and do not sin again!”

May the good Lord continue to bless us, heals us and give us abundance love so we can continue to serve Him in whatever we do. Lots of Love.

Silent Retreat

Personal Retreat

mother teresa quote

I was longing for a personal retreat for quite a while now. A few years back i did my silent retreat together with a few other friends and the purpose of our retreat is very specific. Somehow, i didn’t find the answer for a lots of questions in my head. This is because i didn’t prepared spiritually and i am too busy with my worldly things around me. So, way back in 2010 i was searching for a possibilities for me to go for a personal retreat away from my hometown, where i didn’t know anyone. A quite and solitude place for me to find my inner self and carefully listen to the voice of God within. The ‘noise’ of this world easily distracts me from my intimate relationship with Jesus and i must find a way to stay firm and put Him as the centre of my life.

During my search i found a few retreat centres and one of the retreat centre that caught my intention was the Seven Fountains Retreat Centre, Chiang Mai, Thailand. It is managed by the Jesuit priests. At that time, when i calculate the overall expenses i need to travel there, i can not afford it so i stop there.

Last year, i have some ‘turbulence’ in my life and suddenly i was thinking about personal retreat again. My financial is not stable but i make a prompt decision to buy a ticket and go to Chiang Mai this year. Deep down in my heart, my desire to go to the Seven Fountains never fades away. It is always there and knowing that, i just go.

I will fly to Chiang Mai this coming week and will be there for 6D5N. I am excited and at the same time i feel a bit of nervous. I have a mixture of feelings right now especially after i received emails from my Spiritual Director.

Nothing special, try to come not too tired and with lot of goodwill and confidence in God’s love! I’ll see you every day to give you points for meditations and to know if you are well. Bring ball pen and exercise-book. – 16th Jan 2017

Welcome to the Seven Fountains, I am waiting for you. You will arrive for the dinner which is at 6h30 pm. I’ll see you the following day? See you soon.? – 17th April 2017

With this i will put everything in God’s hand and let the Holy Spirit be my guidance in my search. May Lord have mercy on me.

Diary

Back to Blogging…

I was too busy at work? Or too occupied with many things that not allowed me with blogging? Nope, i was just being lazy to think and write. However, after lapsed for two years updating this blog, i sense a strong call to write again. So i do…

delint
Photo credit to Google Image

I will start to tell my stories again and to start with this new chapter, i make some changes to this blog appearance and the title too. I was drawn to the spirituality and personality of St Therese of Lisieux, so i use this name The Little Flower for this blog. I hope and pray that i will get inspired and share more of my life testimonies as i journey my spiritual growth for years to come. By doing the little things, i will spread the words of love and mercy of my Lord Jesus Christ. Till then…

therese3jpg
Photo credit to Google Image
Life in Spirit Seminar, Personal

LSS – The Baptism of the Holy Spirit

13 JULY 2014, 11:10
On the next day, i recieved a counselling from the prayer minister. Sis Yvonne and Sis B call me, for they want to have a talk with me after our group photo session. It is just before our baptism of the holy spirit session. They asked me few questions regarding my experienced during the healing but I answered thier questions terribly. I keep saying “I don’t know”. “What are you scared of?”. I said, “I don’t know”. Sis B said, “That darkness you saw is symbolize the other dark forces which is still in you. You can not worship two gods at the same time. We can not force u to choose Jesus either. The ultimate decision must come from you. Whether you want to let go that and choose Jesus or you want to live with it”. For me she sounds like threatening me because after that she continue saying, “If, you decide not to let go, then don’t go for the next session, the baptism of the Holy Spirit. You stay down here and don’t go to the hall”. I hate her for saying that. There come my pride. Inside me i was thinking, “It is nothing. It do no harm for me if i am not participate in the next session”. But deep down in my heart, “I want to be healed. I want to follow Jesus”. Somehow, my brain keep working, fighting to say i do the right thing. I feel very disturbed with the chaos in my brain and what my heart really want. Sis Yvonne asked me if i ever attend any Deliverance? I never attend any deliverance before.  Just before we end our conversation, they tell me this, “We know you are strong enough to make the decision. If not, you will not be here today. Its half way already. Fight till the end. We are here to support you”.

During the talk about the baptism of the holy spirit, i was crying and crying because i still not sure what to do. My heart was touched by what the speaker said. Apart from that, actually i still have the fear from the night inside me. Finally, i make up my mind and join the baptism of the holy spirit session. The prayer ministry pray over me about four times. The first time, i was so stubborn. I didn’t feel anything except that feeling of don’t recieve it. So nothing happen to me. They came again for the second time. This time, I fight with my mind and follow what my heart says. I burst out in tears. I keep fighting inside, until i sweating all over my head. Slowly, i recieved the Holy Spirit and the fear gone and it is replaced with peace. I cry and cry for joy is within me.

After the session Sis Yvonne approach me. She asked me if i want to go for Confession. Straight away i said, I want to go for Confession. Praise be to God with guidance of the holy spirit i made a very meaningful confession i ever had.