Diary, The Six Sacraments

Relationship with Jesus Christ – Part 1

I was baptized at St. Theresa Chapel, Kampung Kebuaw, Igan in December 1993. It was when i was about 12 years old. From what i remembered, i was baptized by Fr. Phillip, redemtorist Father from our Church by The River, St. Bernard Church, Dalat. I have taken my class for about one year or less i think. I never really know what is actually i learn. I only memorized the prayers until the end of the church teachings. During my baptism, i gave the name that i choose for my baptism as Laurethea Jaquisee (this was given by my brother Ep, but i don’t know where he got this name) to the catechist that in charge of our baptist ceremony. However, the catechist resist my choice of name. He change it into Laurita (am not quite like this name though). I do not know what and where he got this name too. At last, i was baptized as Laurita. After baptism they asks us to receive our First Holy Communion. I am telling you, i didn’t know what is actually this thing. What is this bread that i receive and what should i do after i receive it? I just follow through what my friend did. She kneel down, so do i and i saw she do sign of cross and i did the same too. Just follow what she did.

After my baptism, there were no other class or any activities that i can follow to strengthen my faith in Jesus Christ. The truth is, even after my baptism, my parents especially my mum still brought me to see “dukun” @ “bomoh” to cure my illness. If i get sick, she will bring me to see “them”. Not much things change in my life after my baptism. I am still in the crossroads not really sure what is it about the Catholic Church teachings. I am blurr. What is wrong/sin and what is right to be followed through.

I finished my primary school and i was accepted to further my studies at SM Sains Miri, Miri, Sarawak. A boarding school that for sure will have mixture of races, cultures, religions and beliefs. My life in my secondary school is one of the first phase in my life that i was challenge so much as a follower of Christ.

So, i think i stop here for the very first chapter of how my growth as a follower of Christ. Where the story of my life as a Follower Of  Jesus Christ begins. Till the next Chapter. Stay tune guys!

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,

I am writing this to share my life experienced encountering You in my life since i was 12 years old. When i baptized, i am your daughter and from that day on you never leave me alone. You walk with me and always be by my side during ups and downs in my life. You carry me through to move on with my life. I pray that, my sharing will touch others heart and your love will spread to more of your sons and daughters in this challenging world my dear Jesus Christ.  To make you known to more people Lord. In Jesus name i pray. Amen.

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The Six Sacraments

SACRAMENT OF CONFIRMATION – 14th OCT 2007

ON the 14th October 2007 i received the Sacrament of Confirmation. After gone through the three days growth in Spirit seminar with eight talks presented by Bishops, Fathers, Brother and Sister, i feel renewed and a lots of things in my life i ignore especially HIS call for me to become HIS witnesses. I am a sinner and i don’t know how many times i turn my back against HIM but HE never let me down when i need HIM the most. How wonderful and great HIS love is to me. Only now i realize that how important it is to become active Christians. How I feel HIS peace during my old days when i keep on grow in FAITH when i attend praise and worship and others activity with my Catholic community.

In this past two years, i try to ignore HIM from my life with sort of crazy things that i have done. Without knowing that little and big things that i have done keep me apart from HIM so much. I feel emptiness and loneliness most of the time in my heart. The most dangerous moment is when loneliness distracts me, the devil inside and outside me will dancing around and when i fall into temptations, i will discard Jesus away from my heart.

I keep away my BIBLE and how thick the dust covers my BIBLE, ROSARY and MOTHER MARY STATUE in my room. Even though i attend the Holy Eucharist Mass every Sunday but i am dreaming most of the time. I wonder why every time i try to listen to the homily, not even one words from the Father’s mouth i can absorb. It just hanging around and not enter my mind, and of course too far to enter my heart that i already seal from HIS presence.

How great HE is to open my heart bit by bit during this seminar. I also realize why my relationships with any man never end up with happy ending. How can i give so much love to anyone else if i didn’t love myself on the first place? I can express my emotions and feel the emotions given back to me but i have problem with the COMMITMENT. To love not only share the emotions with our partner how much we love them but to give commitment to that relationship. That is my worst weaknesses. I can not do that in my relationship. I still don’t know why i am very afraid of commitment. But i will try to cast away my worry about this because i am sure HE will show me the way. It is not yet time for me to understand that, it is just HIS time will tell me.