13 JULY 2014, 11:10
On the next day, i recieved a counselling from the prayer minister. Sis Yvonne and Sis B call me, for they want to have a talk with me after our group photo session. It is just before our baptism of the holy spirit session. They asked me few questions regarding my experienced during the healing but I answered thier questions terribly. I keep saying “I don’t know”. “What are you scared of?”. I said, “I don’t know”. Sis B said, “That darkness you saw is symbolize the other dark forces which is still in you. You can not worship two gods at the same time. We can not force u to choose Jesus either. The ultimate decision must come from you. Whether you want to let go that and choose Jesus or you want to live with it”. For me she sounds like threatening me because after that she continue saying, “If, you decide not to let go, then don’t go for the next session, the baptism of the Holy Spirit. You stay down here and don’t go to the hall”. I hate her for saying that. There come my pride. Inside me i was thinking, “It is nothing. It do no harm for me if i am not participate in the next session”. But deep down in my heart, “I want to be healed. I want to follow Jesus”. Somehow, my brain keep working, fighting to say i do the right thing. I feel very disturbed with the chaos in my brain and what my heart really want. Sis Yvonne asked me if i ever attend any Deliverance? I never attend any deliverance before. Just before we end our conversation, they tell me this, “We know you are strong enough to make the decision. If not, you will not be here today. Its half way already. Fight till the end. We are here to support you”.
During the talk about the baptism of the holy spirit, i was crying and crying because i still not sure what to do. My heart was touched by what the speaker said. Apart from that, actually i still have the fear from the night inside me. Finally, i make up my mind and join the baptism of the holy spirit session. The prayer ministry pray over me about four times. The first time, i was so stubborn. I didn’t feel anything except that feeling of don’t recieve it. So nothing happen to me. They came again for the second time. This time, I fight with my mind and follow what my heart says. I burst out in tears. I keep fighting inside, until i sweating all over my head. Slowly, i recieved the Holy Spirit and the fear gone and it is replaced with peace. I cry and cry for joy is within me.
After the session Sis Yvonne approach me. She asked me if i want to go for Confession. Straight away i said, I want to go for Confession. Praise be to God with guidance of the holy spirit i made a very meaningful confession i ever had.