ON the second day, Fr. Terry talk about forgiveness. Hmmph..a tough one. This word will always remind me of what i have done to others around me. Again, Fr. Terry asks us to talk to the people next to us on this topic. What is forgiveness means to us? I turn to my back sit and one woman sit behind me. I am speechless and not sure where to start and this woman starts our conversations. She said forgiveness is when we set our heart free from hatred means that we forgive what people have done to us and we also do the same to others. Then when my turn to share my thoughts i don’t know why this topic make my heart is so touch. My point of view is the same but then i just add it with, if we didn’t allow God to work together in it, we will not feel the peace, joy and love again in our heart. My point is that, if we work out on forgive others that have hurt our feeling or we trying to asking for forgiveness from people that we have hurt their feelings by ourselves alone, we will not get it. It is a must to let God invovle in it by allowing Holy Spirit to work in our heart, in our life in the process of our forgiveness. In my experienced, i never get back the peace, love and joy in my heart if i am not forgiving others. But it is really not easy to do by my own strength. I really need God.
Then we continue with Fr. erry talk on forgiveness. He still stressed out that not our sin that have to be forgiven but because we are a sinner then we need to forgiveness. I take myself to be forgiven not what i have done. We don’t have the power of forgiveness in us that’s why we have to ask for Holy Spirit to pass through us.
Let say, this is the situation. I have hurt someone’s feeling and we broke our freindship because what i have sain and what i have done to him. I may say that both of our hearts are hurt by what i am saying and doing. In my heart, i really feel that i hate him and even i can’t say i am sorry to him. At some point, i feel guilty and told him, i am sorry for what i have done but actually deep in my heart i still not forgive him. Okay, what should i do at this point? How to clear my hart from this unforgiveness? I have to let the Holy Spirit to work on this together with me. As i said earlier, i don’t have power of forgiveness in me that’s why i nee God. Therefore, what i have to do is asking blessings for those that i need to forgive for a month, at least. Never fail to ask for that blessings. When i ask blessings upon this person, actually i allowed the Holy Spirit to pass through me and at the same time i will be heal. Pray for the person that i hate by asking for God’s blessings upon them.
“Lord, make them happy, full of love and joy in their heart..”
By open myself to the Holy Spirit to flow through me then only the Holy Spirit can works within me. i have to open that door in my heart to let the Holy Spirit to come into my heart. by our action on the surface layer only that teh Holy Spirit can works on the second layer of our journey with God.
There were a lot more sharing that have been shared by Fr. Terry but i can’t remember them all but the main things in our life is to let God works within us by allowing the Holy Spirit to do it. If we are not open our heart to God to enter our heart, we are walking alone even how hard God try to enter. But, with God nothing is impossible that’s why if we do reflections through our journey, there is so many things happen along our journey. we me so many different people and sometimes we didn’t notice that God use these people to lead us back to His way. God’s way is so beautiful even sometimes we feel very bad about the obstacles that we faced in our life. Now, i realize that to become God’s Disciples is not an easy thing to do especially when i am trying to work it out alone without asking for His presence along my journey.